a purple sunset

so i’ve been rehearsing for my upcoming show in october. i have really great people on board with really big hearts. and i should be thankful to them and appreciate them more often. but sometimes my own frustrations at myself and my own fears get in the way before i even give myself a chance. today i started feeling again. really deep emotions. i needed to feel those wounds to remind me why i’m compelled to do this kind of work. it’s never just about simply sharing my story – it’s about preserving family legacy and documenting personal history – especially if you’re a survivor (of any kind of violence). muriel rukeyeser said, “the universe is made of stories not of atoms.” i believe this with every ounce of my being. and i believe there are so many ways we tell our stories. so this show i’m creating is going to be that kind of experiment in storytelling. i want others to experience my stories not just listen to them. but really feel them with whatever senses the moment requires. i don’t know what this will all look like right now. things are still unclear but i have to trust the process. i love the work i’m doing with robert after we get thru my initial attitude/frustrations/trust issues/and resistance. hopefully i will remember that joy needs to be at the root of my work not frustration or anger or annoyance.

today i met a khmer american sister new to chicago who’s diving right into youth work. it’s exciting when i find other khmer people who have a similar passion in their eyes. hopefully the non-profit world won’t overwork her and burn her out. i took her to the beach to get some much needed “fresher” air. she’s from washington state so i know the chicago polluted air won’t ever compare. but everything feels fresher near large bodies of water. we saw a purple sunset and some pigeons pooping. it was a perfect ending to my day.

and speaking of suns…nothing compares to witnessing a sunrise at angkor wat…
stones centuries old crowned by the sun…
and i get to go back again in november.