cryptic rant

i haven’t done this in a long ass time so let me be. it might be cryptic and if you can crack this — good for you. i hate what time and consumerism do to people’s ideals. i hate cynicism and worse – i hate what it does to the aging activists. it sucks when you witness ugly changes in people you once were friends with, people you once dreamed and stood in battle with.

some people love to exist in their mainstream ravine while so many of us are battling raging rapids. i just don’t understand why i give some people way too many chances (especially my sisters) thinking we can all contribute something to the greater fight. and it’s not that i think i’m better than others but shit – i have to believe that there are some ideals, some fights, some truths that are not worth compromising, ever!!! that even in this day and age – honor matters.

but the truth is we are not all soldiers. some of us were just trying on the uniforms to make a fashion statement in the moment. once upon a time i new a girl who helped immortalize a movement. but now she’s been sucked up under the lights and makeup of a TV world and spit back out as glamorous bandwidths. she was always the pretty one wanting pretty things. so now she lives in her pretty land of stone and glass. but once upon a time she noticed her pulse. once upon a time she had much sharper teeth. and once upon a time she tossed her fist high in the air like a mighty flag…just like the rest of us.

today i took a moment of silence.
breathed in and out and prayed that i don’t lose anymore of my sisters.